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The Prescott Daily Courier | Prescott, Arizona

home : features : features November 24, 2015

8/19/2012 10:07:00 PM
Obama plans to stay home for Octoberfest
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Syndicated Columnist

The White House disclosed Thursday that President Obama brews his own beer in the basement of the White House living quarters. The reporters weren't surprised in the least. It's an old Chicago tradition, just in case Prohibition comes back, to be prepared.

Kelsey Grammer came out on the Tonight Show and admitted he is a Republican last week. It's the cycle of life. When actors are ready to retire in Hollywood they admit they are Republicans and when actresses are ready to retire they have their implants removed.

Homeland Security official Suzy Barr went on leave after three men said she engaged in lewd behavior toward them at work. She's in charge of immigration enforcement. This proves that when employees have no work to do, office romances break out like hives.

Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer defied President Obama's executive decree ordering states to sell work permits to illegal aliens Thursday. This'll be fun. South Carolina just advised Arizona not to secede until they sign a contract with an English cannon factory.

The U.S. soccer team beat Mexico's soccer team in Mexico City Wednesday for the first time in 75 years. It's a good thing this happened in Mexico City and not Los Angeles. If this had happened where there are a lot of Mexicans, there might have been a riot.

The U.S. military sent surveillance blimps to patrol the Mexican border to stop illegal immigrants from entering U.S. territory. It's the last idea we have. We are this close to going back to the original foolproof system of having Comanche tribes patrol the border.

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