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The Prescott Daily Courier | Prescott, Arizona

home : features : features January 25, 2015


4/17/2012 10:00:00 PM
Column: Agents' behavior OK with one ex-president happy with agents
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Syndicated Columnist

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The Secret Service was humiliated into recalling agents from Colombia Friday when one agent drank all night with a hooker in a hotel room, sparking a brawl. The agent has already heard from one former president. Martin Sheen called and asked him to be his son.

The New York Times said the White House has a cash-for-access policy that allowed donors direct White House visits. It's cash for favors. Eleven Secret Service agents were just recalled from Colombia for not charging hookers enough for being that close the president.

The Secret Service detail in Colombia included an agent who refused to pay a hooker 50 bucks he'd agreed to pay her. It says a lot. In a time where the U.S. is $16 trillion in debt, at least prostitutes have confidence in the credit of the United States.

The Postal Service placed Ted Williams on a U.S. stamp Friday. He was eccentric even in death. His head was cryogenically frozen in a Scottsdale lab and stored upside down so that he can be brought back to life in case science ever discovers a cure for decapitation.

Hillary Clinton partied at a Cuban nightclub in Colombia which has Castro's flag and picture on the wall. She drank beer, danced the rumba and played the maracas with the Cuban band. Ozzie Guillen had to be chloroformed to keep from declaring his love for her.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un unveiled another long-range missile Sunday. North Korea's last several ICBMs have failed after launch and fallen into the ocean. The missiles are starting to form a barrier reef that could protect the country from an amphibious invasion.


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