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The Prescott Daily Courier | Prescott, Arizona

home : features : modern times February 05, 2016

4/30/2013 10:00:00 PM
Column: Collins' move leads to melodic change
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Syndicated Columnist

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

Atlanta Hawks center Jason Collins made societal history Monday, becoming the first pro athlete to come out of the closet and admit he's gay. Within the hour, the Hawks gave their entertaining, fast-breaking offense a new nickname. They're calling it Showtune.

NBA player Jason Collins admitted he's gay in Sports Illustrated. The reaction was no surprise. Democrats said it's the biggest step in human progress since Jackie Robinson admitted that he's black, and Pat Robertson blamed the Midwest flooding on Jason Collins.

Michael Jackson's mother sued AEG Monday for hiring Dr. Conrad Murray to monitor his drug intake. The coroner found Valium, Xanax, Dilaudid. Percoset, Demeraol and Propofol in his body. Michael Jackson was the first guy in history who descended to heaven.

The Grand Ole Opry will hold the funeral for country music star and drinking legend George Jones today in Nashville. It was decided to bury him in a local cemetery. If they had cremated his ashes it would have taken oil well firefighters three weeks to put him out.

President Obama was hilarious at the Correspondents' Dinner Saturday. He kidded about being a socialist, a narcissist and being born outside the U.S. He's getting it all out there so when Bob Woodward releases his next book the president can say it's all old news.

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