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The Prescott Daily Courier | Prescott, Arizona

home : features : modern times November 25, 2015

2/27/2013 9:50:00 PM
Column: The minority group no one wants to help
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Syndicated Columnist

HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The White House said Monday that President Obama's salary would not be affected by the looming sequestration cuts. Congress quickly added that their pay is also unaffected. Their salaries are all protected under the Americans with No Abilities Act.

Bill O'Reilly announced Friday he's writing a book called "Killing Jesus." It follows his best-sellers "Killing Lincoln" and "Killing Kennedy." Bill O'Reilly loves to write about the great men of history the same way little boys with a magnifying glass love to work with ants.

The White House warned of fewer public hospital procedures if sequester cuts kick in Friday cutting the budget. Don't buy it. They warned it could reduce the number of breast exams and prostate exams but don't worry, they'll still be free at the nearest airport.

The Defense Department released a troubling study which found that operators of drone aircraft suffer the same stress levels as those who operate manned vehicles. It's lack of maturity. They just need to accept the fact that only one person can get high score.

"Anger Management's" producers announced Tuesday that Lindsay Lohan will join the cast as one of Charlie Sheen's anger patients and girlfriend. Why not? As long as the production can't get insurance anyway they might as well have who they want on the show.

The Postal Service announced it will raise money by selling a line of postal worker's clothing to the public. They'll sell. If you're a burglar in this age of camera surveillance everywhere you need a uniform that'll get you buzzed into any building no questions asked.

South Africa's Olympic star Oscar Pistorius made bail Friday and he's free until he goes on trial for murdering his girlfriend. His brother, his investigator and his judge's brother have all been charged with manslaughter and the conviction rate is 11 percent. If we just wait a few months there'll be nobody left in South Africa to put on trial.

President Obama listed dozens of government services that will be lost if the automatic sequester spending cuts kick in Friday. They're saying we will have no government starting on the same day we have no pope. With no rules and no shame, everyone could have as much fun as they used to have in the Clinton White House during Casual Sex Friday.

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